I Just Wanna Hold Her
by apishcan18
Summary: "He missed her. He missed her quick smile, he missed the sound of her voice, he missed her quiet acceptance of him, flaws and all." Callen/OC
1. Chapter 1

**Dislcaimer:** I don't own NCIS:LA or it's characters. I'm making no money from this. I do however lay claim to Eleanor Willis and Greg Langdon and other OC's I may have forgotten about.

**Note:** I'm back. I think. I took a break from the longer fic I'm currently editing to write this. It finally worked for me. After about the tenth time of trying to write it. So this is a Callen and Ellie story. It takes place between Breaking and Entering and The Marriage Question. There will be three short chapters. Trust me it just works out better that way. Breaking it up any other way was... weird. Ummmm... What else? Oh yes, this first chapter was inspired by the Skillet song, Lucy. For some reason whenever I listened to that song this is what played in my head. Well I think that's all. So on with the story!

It was a typical day in LA. Warm, sunny, lots of traffic and smog.

NCIS Special Agent G Callen stood in the Inglewood Park Cemetery and looked down at the grave stone. The grass under his feet was freshly mowed and bits of the green plants littered the grey granite, dotting the name _Eleanor Willis_. His blue eyes filled with sadness as the agent took in the scene before him.

It was simple, as Ellie would have wanted. Just her name to mark her final resting place for eternity, though Callen was pretty sure that she never expected to reach this spot so soon.

He missed her. He missed her quick smile, he missed the sound of her voice, he missed her quiet acceptance of him, flaws and all. He missed almost everything about her, except for the being a cop thing.

Callen knelt to brush the grass clippings off of his friends grave marker. Gliding his hand over the smooth stone, Callen felt his grief intensify, not lessen as Dr. Nate Getz and Henrietta Lange had predicted. He shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't be visiting Ellie's grave. She should be pestering her partner, Detective Greg Langdon, spoiling her honorary nieces and nephews and giving him that look of hers that said she knew when he was holding back but wasn't going to press him about it. She should be catching killers, teasing her friends and ordering him to sleep in the guest room instead of on the couch. Ellie shouldn't be buried under six feet of earth.

"This is wrong," Callen whispered, not sure who he was talking to. He wasn't even sure Ellie could hear him.

Nate had urged him to visit, to talk to her like she really was there.

Callen wasn't a man who talked about his feelings easily. He was pretty good at dodging almost any discussion where they came up. But, standing at the final resting place of Ellie, he suddenly wished she was still alive so he could tell her how he felt about her.

Callen hadn't been able to even admit to himself that he cared about the LAPD Detective until he received the news that she had been shot and killed in the line of duty.

It had been a shock, hearing the words from Hetty. Callen hadn't even been aware Hetty knew about Ellie but it shouldn't have surprised him that she did. Hetty knew all it seemed.

Callen glanced upward, towards the blue sky and wondered if Ellie was really up there somewhere like some believed.

Shaking his head at his own foolishness and looking back down at the neatly engraved words, Callen felt his heart give another squeeze. What he wouldn't give to have her back so he could tell her she was worth breaking his rule for. If only he had come to that realization before it was too late.

Callen stood up, the guilt and grief heavy. So many regrets, so much sadness.

He turned to leave and there she was. Her short light brown hair and blue print sundress waved lightly in the breeze. Ellie was smiling at him, her brown eyes warm. She was just standing there six feet away from him, barefoot and beautiful.

"G?" she said softly.

Callen couldn't say anything. He was certain he was hallucinating.

"G?" she tried again, more insistent this time.

Still Callen couldn't say anything. He was afraid to blink, afraid if he did Ellie would disappear.

"G." There was a pleading undercurrent to her voice. She was trying to get his attention and he wasn't listening.

"G, please wake up!" Ellie was flat out begging now, pressing for him to listen, to obey.

Callen wondered why she was asking him to wake up when he already was awake.

Then he opened his eyes.

The cemetery disappeared.

In its place was Ellie's guest room.

To be continued...

_Don't forget to review please! Thanks for reading!_


	2. Chapter 2

Callen looked around, confused for a second.

Ellie was there, alive, breathing. She was pale and clutching her side, her eyes were silently begging him to help her.

"G, I'm sorry," she said quietly, the pleading gone from her voice, replaced by apology.

"El, what's going on?" Callen asked, sitting up and pushing the covers off him.

Ellie grimaced. "I was sleeping and somehow managed to tear my stitches."

Callen suddenly noticed the blood staining her shirt. He felt his stomach give a lurch. Ellie's blood.

"Would you," she paused to take a breath.

Callen already knew what she was going to ask. Ellie was in no shape to drive herself to the hospital. She was asking him to take her.

Callen grabbed the shirt he'd left on the rocking chair in the corner and pulled it on. "Come on."

He gently guided her down the hall and into the living room/dining room. He quickly located his keys and they left.

Ellie leaned against the passenger side window, still pressing against her left side. The blood stain had grown. Callen wasn't sure how much blood she'd lost already but to be safe, he drove as fast as he could without breaking the law. The last thing Ellie needed was him getting pulled over.

They got to the hospital and Ellie was immediately taken behind doors Callen couldn't pass through. He spent several hours in the waiting room, watching the seconds slowly tick by and worrying about Ellie.

The dream he'd been having when she woke him up was still with him. Callen couldn't get over the very real feeling he'd had that Ellie had died. He never wanted to experience that feeling again. He tried to not dwell on the revelation that he cared about Ellie more then his 'no dating cops' rule allowed.

Finally a nurse came to fetch him.

"How is she?" he demanded to know.

"She's stable. The stitches have been replaced and she's been given some blood. She's kinda groggy from the pain killer so be warned," the woman informed him before gesturing to a curtained off area.

"She's behind there." She departed with a smile and Callen went to see Ellie.

"El?" he said softly, mimicking her tone from earlier.

Ellie turned her head towards him. She blinked a few times before croaking out, "Thanks... for driving... me here."

Callen stood beside the bed and picked up Ellie's right hand. "You're welcome. How are you feeling?" Callen knew how he was feeling. Relieved Ellie was still alive, thankful that he had been around to drive her to the hospital, scared of the feelings his dream had brought to the surface.

"Tired... Sore... Sorry about..."

Callen wouldn't let her finish. "Don't be. I'm happy I was there."

This was the perfect opening for him to spill his guts, about the dream and about his feelings. But Callen didn't say anything. Instead he went for safe.

"You rest. I'll be here to take you home when they finally release you." He gave her hand a squeeze and gently laid it back on the blanket.

Ellie nodded. Her eyes drifted shut. Callen watched her for a few more minutes before slipping out again and going back to the waiting room.

Seeing the clock, Callen inwardly winced. He was late. Hetty's wrath was infamous. Being late was not an option. He was going to have to call her and listen to her disapproving tones.

Telling himself it was better to simply get it out of the way, Callen pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed his boss.

Hetty picked up after the first ring. "Mr. Callen, we were all wondering about you." Yep, not happy.

"An emergency came up early this morning. I had to drive El to the hospital. We're still here."

There was a pause.

Finally Hetty said, "Very well. We will see you sometime today." It wasn't a comment, it was an order.

Callen didn't pause to think about how Hetty knew about Ellie. She was Hetty after all.

The older woman hung up.

Another hour passed.

Another nurse came for Callen. Ellie was awake and anxious to leave.

Callen drove her home.

He didn't say much and neither did she.

To be Continued...

_Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review!_


	3. Chapter 3

Last chapter! Yay! Well I hope you like it.

**Later that same day**

Callen slid his key into the hole and turned it. The door opened with a creak.

Callen paused and listened for movement. He heard nothing. He pushed the door open wider.

Ellie was asleep on the couch, dead to the world.

Callen walked in and closed the door behind him. Out of habit, he flipped the lock.

Ellie didn't move.

Callen pulled a book from the shelf and settled himself in an armchair, content to read until Ellie woke up.

The ringing phone finally dragged her from her slumber. Her arm reached above her head towards the end table where the phone sat. Her eyes flickered open before fluttering closed again. She grabbed a hold of the phone after the second ring and quickly pulled it to her ear, pushing the talk button as she did.

"'Ello?" she mumbled sleepily.

Callen could hear the loud, angry words from where he sat. It was Greg, Ellie's partner, and he didn't sound happy.

Ellie let him rant for a few minutes.

Callen thought for a long moment that she'd fallen asleep again but Ellie disproved that thought with a soft groan.

Finally the shouting stopped and Ellie said quietly, "Greg, it's for the best. Trust me. You've been a good partner and I'll miss seeing you on an almost daily basis but this is what I have to do. My place is no longer with the department."

Callen was glad Ellie had her eyes closed so she couldn't see him staring in shock. It sounded like Ellie had quit her job. It sounded like she was no longer a cop. Callen simply couldn't believe that Ellie had quit. She loved being a detective. She was well suited for the job and she was good at it.

Ellie continued to speak, "Greg, I have no doubt Henry will find you a partner that you get along with. You seem to like me after all." A pause. "Oh haha. Get over it." Another longer pause. "Not tonight, Greg. The doctors pumped me full of these lovely drugs and I'm pretty dopy. I promise we'll talk about this soon... OK. Bye Greg."

Ellie hung up and tried to place her phone on the coffee table. She missed and it fell to the floor with a soft clatter. Ellie didn't seem to care.

Callen watched her closely, looking for signs she had gone back to sleep.

"How long have you been here?" Ellie finally asked, her eyes still closed.

"About an hour and a half," Callen answered. "Did you quit your job?"

"I resigned yesterday."

"Why?" Callen felt a bit like he was prying.

"There was a small public relations fiasco over the shooting. I offered to take the blame and resign as long as my name stayed out of the press. Henry and the Chief of Police accepted."

Ellie didn't seem to find anything wrong with Callen's prying.

"What do you plan on doing now?"

"After I finish recovering from my GSW?" there a note of amusement in her voice.

Again Callen had a flash of standing at Ellie's grave. That dream had really disturbed him.

"I want to talk to you about something," Callen said.

Now that she'd resigned from the LAPD he didn't have that internal conflict over breaking his rule so it was safe to have a relationship with her.

Ellie forced her eyes open, pushed herself up and swung her feet to the floor.

Callen moved to sit down beside her. "Feeling better?" he asked.

Ellie lifted the corner of her shirt to show him the white bandage. "All better," she said.

"Good. Not too dopy?"

Ellie grinned. "Greg wanted to come over and yell at me in person. I don't feel as fogged up as I let him believe."

Ellie raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you ok? I get the feeling this isn't what you wanted to talk about."

"I'm fine."

Callen really wasn't sure how to phrase this. He had asked out other woman before, while undercover and off the job. But this time, this woman, was different. It might have had something to do with their shared past. It might be because Ellie seemed to understand him without even trying. It might be because he'd been crashing at her home whenever he felt like it for over two years now. Whatever it is, the words were not there.

"G?" Ellie peered up at him, her eyes filled with concern.

Callen suddenly decided words just weren't going to cut it. So he grabbed Ellie and planted a kiss on her lips.

For a second Ellie seemed to freeze. Callen sensed her confusion just before she responded, kissing him back with an eagerness that surprised the NCIS agent. When they finally broke apart, both were breathing hard.

Ellie was the first to speak. "OK. That was interesting."

Callen heard the confusion he'd sensed before. "I can explain."

"I hope so because I'm beginning to think I might be more doped up then I first believed I was. Am I hallucinating?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "El, this is reality. I did just kiss you."

Ellie seemed to be at a loss for words.

Callen tried to explain. "I had this dream last night. And it kinda freaked me out. See, you were dead and I was visiting your grave." Ellie's eyes widened. "And then you were there, alive and beautiful and talking to me. Well it was you but the real you, trying to wake me up this morning. But I realized something. In my dream. I was looking at your grave stone," Ellie flinched at that, "and I wished I could go back in time and tell you how I feel. I missed you. I missed almost everything about you, El. And now that I know that was a dream and you're still alive, I don't want to keep going on like this without telling you, er, showing you." Callen couldn't believe he had turned into a babbling idiot in the attempt to get this out but he forged on anyway. "I care for you as more then a friend. I want to see where a relationship between us could lead." Callen wondered if he wasn't still dreaming. Had he really just said all that?

Ellie stared at him for a long moment. Finally she said, "Are you sure I'm not hallucinating? Because that almost didn't sound like the G I know."

"Trust me. This is reality and I meant every word."

Again Ellie considered him. "Are you sure about this?"

Callen had been thinking about Ellie all day. He was about as sure as he could get. He wanted Ellie and only Ellie. "Yes. I'm sure."

"OK. I'm in."

With that Callen swooped in and kissed Ellie senseless.

**The End**

_Thanks for reading!_


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